OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize