where am i from again
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
