So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
