If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
as a side note pls kill me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize