it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
