last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
