Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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