Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
