at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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