please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
