So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dignity is for republicans.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
