He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
