In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize