Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
