Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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