You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
