1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
