Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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