Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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