my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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