So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
