I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
