So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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