nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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