Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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