i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
