Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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