You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
