I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
