2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
