giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize