drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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