beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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