Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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