Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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