what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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