What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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