This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
