My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize