I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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