How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize