I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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