It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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