Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
