I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
