Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
