Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
