Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
