we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
