I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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