I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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