my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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