Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
