Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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