Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
