This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
