dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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