i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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