Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
