what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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